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Figuring out your sexual orientation can be confusing, only there's no rush to label yourself. Your sexual identity is personal, and it'due south okay to explore how you experience. If you doubtable you may exist gay, examine your thoughts and behaviors to figure out if you're attracted to the other genders. Additionally, consider experimenting with your sexuality. If you identify as gay, be proud of who you are and come up out when you experience ready.

1. 1

   Count how often you find people of unlike genders. When you're out in public, observe who tends to depict your heart. Gay individuals are more than likely to notice people who are the same gender as them, while straight people tend to detect the other binary gender people more. Alternatively, queer folks may discover genders depending on any preferences they may accept.^[i]

   • For instance, let'south say you're a guy enjoying the day at the beach. If yous observe yourself checking out the other guys in their swimsuits, yous might be interested in men.
   • Keep in mind that y'all might sometimes notice people for reasons other than being gay. For instance, y'all might like their outfit.

2. two

   Notice who sexually arouses you. Expect at pictures of people who are unremarkably viewed equally "attractive" and see which gender(s) arouse you. If you're more aroused by people who are the aforementioned gender equally you, you may exist gay. If you detect more than than 1/or the same gender as you arousing, you may be queer.^[2]

   • For example, you might look at pictures of celebrities to run into what attracts you lot. However, proceed in mind that thinking someone looks attractive doesn't necessarily mean you'd want to have sex with them.

3. 3

   Examine your past crushes to see who you're attracted to. Your crushes can tell you a lot nigh your sexuality. Think nearly the people you lot've "liked" in the by. Find if yous tend to develop crushes on people who are the same gender every bit you. This could be a sign that you're queer.^[3]

   • For case, if yous're a girl who'due south crushed on a soccer teammate, a fellow girl scout, and your best girl friend, you might be lesbian, or interested in women.
   • It'southward normal to have occasional crushes on someone who's the same gender every bit you, fifty-fifty if yous're not gay. Nonetheless, if you find yourself having aforementioned-gender crushes oftentimes, you might exist queer.

4. 4

   Reverberate on your past relationships and how they made you feel. You can be gay even if you've had directly relationships in the by. Call up nearly who you dated in the past and how comfy you felt in the relationship. Ask yourself if you felt attracted to this person and what type of attraction you felt. This can help you figure out if yous might be queer.^[four]

   • For example, let'due south say you're a guy who's had, several girlfriends. If you felt uncomfortable with concrete contact with each girl, you may be gay.
   • Go on in heed that you lot might just not exist ready for intimacy or possibly asexual, both of which are okay. Yous don't have to practise anything that makes you uncomfortable.

5. 5

   Examine your sexual fantasies to assist identify your sexual orientation. Reflect on the blazon of fantasies you've had in the past. Notice what yous were doing and who you tend to recall near. If you lot frequently fantasize most relationships involving specific genders, you may exist queer or gay.^[5]

   • As an case, let'south say you tend to think most people who are the same sex as you lot are whenever you lot masturbate. You may be gay, merely you could likewise be pansexual or bisexual if you lot sometimes retrieve well-nigh the some other gender.
   • Call back about who y'all identify with most during romantic or sex scenes in movies or Television set. For example, if you lot're a girl who identifies with the guy grapheme because you want to kiss the daughter, yous may be interested in girls.

6. vi

   Don't assume you're gay based on how you walk, talk, or dress. You've probably heard stereotypes about what makes someone gay, simply none of these are true. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with your manner, appearance, or how you lot speak. Similarly, walking or dancing a certain fashion doesn't make you gay, either. Ignore these stereotypes when figuring out your sexual orientation.^[six]

   • For case, having a loftier-pitched phonation as a guy doesn't make y'all gay. Similarly, preferring short hair as a daughter doesn't make y'all a lesbian.

1. 1

   Flirt with someone your like to run across if it feels right. Starting time past giving a compliment to someone you think is attractive. If they seem comfortable with it, playfully bear upon their arm or shoulder. See how information technology makes you feel.^[seven]

   • You might say, "That color looks amazing on you lot."
   • If y'all savour flirting with the same gender, you might be gay or queer.
   • If you feel like information technology's deadening or awkward, you lot may be direct.

2. 2

   Kiss or hold hands with someone who'due south the same gender/some other gender if you lot want. Physical intimacy like kissing or holding easily will aid you effigy out if you might bask beingness with someone who's the aforementioned gender equally you, or another gender such as non-binary. Take things slow and start by property hands with them. Then, consider kissing them if you lot both seem to be comfortable with information technology.^[viii]

   • Continue in mind that kissing and touching a person who's the same sex every bit you doesn't automatically mean you're gay.
   • Don't do anything that feels uncomfortable to you. If you lot get uncomfortable, alibi yourself. Say, "I demand to refresh my drink," or "I'yard going to become notice a snack."

3. three

   Use protection if you lot decide to go all the way with someone. If y'all want to be sexually intimate with someone, employ a condom or dental dam to protect both of you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Y'all are even so at take chances, for STIs or STDs regardless of your relationship type. ^[nine]

   • Only accept sex with someone if it'southward actually what you want. Don't exist agape to take things slow.
   • Keep in heed that even if you take a sexual feel with someone of the aforementioned gender or another gender, that doesn't necessarily mean that you lot're gay. Likewise, having sexual activity with someone of the 'contrary' gender doesn't have to mean that yous're directly.

4. 4

   View your sexual identity equally something that'south fluid. Things would exist so uncomplicated if you could but label yourself as gay and exist washed with information technology, only it may not be that easy. It's normal for yous to have questions and change your heed sometimes. Listen to how you feel and respect your personal preferences at the moment.^[ten]

   • For instance, you might experience similar you're gay but still aren't sure. That'due south okay. When you're fix, you can decide what characterization feels right to you.

1. 1

   Celebrate your sexual identity as part of who you are. Embracing who yous are is something to celebrate, so be proud of yourself. Recognize that you are perfect the way you are and let yourself to be you.^[11]

   • If you're not ready to tell everyone that you're gay, that'due south okay! This doesn't hateful y'all aren't proud. Information technology's normal to be nervous, so take your time and come out when you feel it'south the correct time.^[12]

2. 2

   Characterization your sexual identity when - if ever - yous feel gear up. Accept your time to figure out your sexual orientation. It's okay if it takes you a while and if you change your mind. It'southward normal to experiment and question your sexual orientation. When y'all experience set up, decide on which label you want to utilise for yourself.^[thirteen]

   • For instance, you might think you're pansexual because you've dated nonbinary folks, men, and women. However, y'all might later realize you're gay. Information technology's okay to change your mind and re-label yourself.

3. 3

   Come up out on your terms. There'due south no right or wrong way to come out. Your sexual identity is personal, and then you don't owe anyone an explanation. At the same time, being out and proud may help you feel like you're existence truthful to yourself. When you're set, tell someone you trust well-nigh your sexual orientation, like a family member, friend, or teacher. Then, slowly tell the other people who are important to you.^{[14] [xv]}

   • For example, you might start with your best friend. Tell them, "Have y'all ever noticed that I always find hot guys? That's because I'chiliad gay."
   • When you lot tell your parents, it might help to bring educational resources for parents who accept queer children. Say, "I love you, and then I want to share something important with you. I'chiliad gay, and I'm proud of it. Since I realized this, I'm feeling really happy and excited about falling in love. I promise yous can understand and back up me."
   • Don't feel like yous have to accept things slow if yous're ready to come out. If you lot desire people to know your sexual identity, go ahead and tell them.
   • If you lot're questioning your sexual identity, seek out people you know will be supportive. That might exist a friend, a teacher, a leader in your community, or mental health professional. If you live in an area where you lot don't feel you'd take a lot of back up, look for online resources, support groups, and forums that could help you.
   • Coming out is a lifelong journey, not something you do just once.^[xvi]

4. iv

   Consider if you're queer if you're attracted to multiple genders. Existence pansexual means you lot're attracted to multiple/all genders. Yous might not want labels, or place as queer. This can feel disruptive at first considering you might doubtable that you're gay but then accept a crush on someone who's another gender.^[17]

   • Being bisexual doesn't hateful you lot're attracted to everyone. Information technology just ways that you may be attracted to people of either gender.
   • Similarly, being bisexual or pansexual doesn't mean that you have to switch back-and-along betwixt genders.
   • Some people say that bisexual people are "dislocated" or "going through a phase," but this couldn't be further from the truth.^[18]

5. 5

   Reach out to a counselor if you're struggling emotionally. It'due south normal to have conflicted emotions when you lot're exploring your sexual identity. But if yous're overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, sadness, or anxiety, or if you aren't getting the support you lot need from your family unit members or community, some people can help.^[xix] Ask your doctor to recommend a counselor. Or, if y'all're a student, find out if your schoolhouse offers counseling services.

   • You can also find support groups online or call a crisis line that's defended to LGBTQ bug. For example, young people living in the U.Due south. can phone call the Trevor Project 24/7 at i-866-488-7386.^[20]

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• Take all the time you need to decide if you're gay. Try dating unlike people to see what feels right to you.

• Keep in mind that your sexual orientation is different from your gender identity. That means, for instance, that you can be transgender just as well straight (for case, you might identify as a woman and experience attracted to men) or gay (e.1000., if you identify every bit a woman and are attracted to other women). You can likewise exist both trans and queer.^[21]

• Being gay is role of who y'all are, and there'due south aught wrong with information technology. Some people might not understand your sexual orientation, simply y'all are perfect the style yous are.^[22]

• You don't need to be sexually active to be gay. It'due south solely based on your sexual orientation.^[23]

• Yous also don't need to engage in specific types of sexual activities if you don't desire to. For instance, non all gay men choose to accept anal sexual practice. Look for ways to get intimate with your partner that both of you are comfy with.^[24]

• Practice prophylactic sex at all times. Keep in mind that same-sex sexual activities tin lead to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) only like any sexual encounter tin can.

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Article Summary X

If you're not sure how to know if you are gay, recall nigh any past romantic experiences you have had. If yous have had only had crushes on people of a different gender, you are probably straight. If you accept had romantic experiences or fantasies involving people who are the same gender as y'all, and then there is a proficient take a chance you are gay or bisexual, but it's okay if yous're a fiddling confused. Too, if you don't want to, you lot don't have to characterization yourself at all. Y'all like who y'all like, and y'all tin can go out it at that. Information technology may help to think of loving people, rather than their gender. To larn more almost how to exist comfortable with your sexuality, keep reading!

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